Speaker 13

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…Does that even make sense?

Was it ever logical to expect four dice to all land on one?

And of all things, it had to be a critical failure.

If it had just been a regular failure, maybe I would’ve only dropped the bottle and broken it.

Well, the point is…

・I’m screwed.

My plan shattered just like that bottle, with a loud crash—completely wrecked.

For a moment, silence fell.

Maybe because I didn’t put enough strength into it, the bottle broke, but the thug I hit on the head wasn’t even fazed and just stood there.

His head was drenched in red wine, and—

“Well,” thick, dark red blood—darker than the wine—began trickling down from his forehead.

“What the hell are you doing…?”

Everyone, including the guy himself, stared at me, mouths slightly open, blinking blankly.

Their dazed expressions made it obvious they had no idea what had just happened in front of them.

Of course they didn’t.

Even I had no clue what the hell I’d just done.

“…Haha.”

With my plan blown to pieces, I had no choice but to improvise now.

“Uh, hey!”

I quickly pointed behind them.

“She’s trying to escape!”

“?!”

While all the thugs’ eyes were glued to my “performance,” Evi had quietly picked her lock and was tiptoeing away.

The moment I “reported” her sudden escape attempt, Evi froze on the spot, just like I had moments ago.

“…Haha.”

Then, perhaps from sheer absurdity, she let out a dry laugh.

“Ah, shit.”

“When the hell did she even—”

“What are you doing?! Grab her!”

All four of the thugs who had been focused on me now turned their attention—and bodies—toward Evi.

“Rine!”

Thanks to that, I had a moment to act.

-BOOM!

As soon as I gave the signal, Rine, who had been hiding in the corner, launched a [Fireball], sending the thug flying.

“U-Uaaagh?!”

The one whose head had been soaked in wine.

The other thugs flinched in shock at the sight and turned back toward me.

[This is your funeral, you son of a bitch!]

While they turned, I immediately hit another one with a [Mocking Remark].

Only two were left now.

Both looked quite shaken by the sudden combat.

And one of them—

“You damn minstrel, you—Gah!?”

Evi, having dashed in before the guy could even draw his sword, snatched it from him and stabbed him in the back of the neck before he could react.

It was a flawless [Backstab].

“Eek…!”

The last remaining man, seeing he was now alone, decided he couldn’t turn the fight around and desperately tried to flee.

[Stop.]

But he didn’t get far before he fell under my [Word of Command].

The moment he heard my shout, he reflexively dropped to his knees—just like a dog sitting at its master’s command.

***

It must have been deeply humiliating and terrifying for him.

“W-Who the hell are you, bastard?!”

As I walked up and looked down at him, his face was frozen in fear.

“I told you, didn’t I? Just a bard wandering through the area.”

“Do you even know what you’re doing right now?! Do you have any idea who our boss is?!”

He tried to sound tough, his voice trembling as he spoke, desperately trying to hide his fear.

But it didn’t last long.

“You’re the bastard I stole the safe from.”

Evi came up and slit his throat.

With that, we finished off all the thugs and the situation seemed to be under control—

“Don’t move.”

Or so I thought.

“If you so much as twitch funny, I’ll slit your throat.”

The same blade that had just killed a thug was now pressed against my neck.

“What the hell are you?”

In response, I raised both hands, showing I wasn’t resisting.

“You show up outta nowhere and start singing, then rat me out when I try to escape, and now you’re fighting these guys—What even is this? What the hell is on your head?”

Just as I was about to answer Evi’s barrage of questions with a smirk, she cut me off.

“Say ‘bard’ one more time and I swear—”

“…I am a bard, though.”

“This asshole.”

What could I do—it was true. But judging by her expression, Evi was clearly saying, “You wanna go?”

She pressed the blade even harder against my neck, so close it felt like I might already be bleeding.

“Master.”

That’s when I heard Rine’s voice.

She had started walking toward me as the fight ended but now stopped in her tracks.

Her eyes—usually emotionless—were now just a little colder as she stared this way.

“Your orders?”

She had her arm raised, ready to cast a spell at Evi.

“Don’t, Rine. And please—stop calling me ‘master.’”

The moment I saw her, I raised one hand to stop her.

“It’s okay. I’ll handle this.”

Rine hesitated for a moment, then reluctantly lowered her arm.

But her wary gaze didn’t waver.

“Yeah, listen to your master, will you? Wouldn’t want him getting hurt.”

“I’m not her master.”

“Sure you’re not. Wow, I’ve seen some shit, but this is a first— A minstrel with a slave.”

“She’s not a slave either.”

“Then what’s with her calling you ‘master’? Is this a kink or something? You get off on making some little girl call you that? How lovely.”

“She’s not a little girl either. You’re an elf too—you should know better than to judge just by appearances.”

“Guess it’s because I’m half-human. The fancy elves always called me a mutt, never gave me the time of day. Guess that’s why I didn’t know.”

Evi smirked and glanced toward Rine.

“Sorry, Grandma.”

“You’ll understand if you let me explain.”

“Oh, you mean it’s your kink to make a grandma call you ‘master’?”

“She’s just not used to this dynamic yet. Give it time.”

“Sorry, but that’s a kink I’ll never understand.”

“You’re not entirely wrong. She’s free now, but she was a slave.”

“Oh, so instead of a weird kink, you’re just an asshole dragging a slave around in public?”

“You heard about the fire at the brewery on the outskirts yesterday, right?”

“Changing the subject? Bit obvious, don’t you think?”

“That place was actually a slave auction house.”

Evi’s hand gripping the blade trembled slightly.

“…What the hell are you talking about?”

“She was being sold like property there. So I burned it all to the ground. It pissed me off.”

As expected, she reacted to that.

I raised one side of my mouth into a grin (though I doubt she could see it).

“You’ve had a similar experience, haven’t you? Am I wrong?”

“…Who the hell are you?”

“Bards pick up rumors easily. We’re always thirsty for new stories. And that includes your rumors too, Evi.”

“…!”

“The dark elf who robbed the infamous Tiarian cartel boss and vanished—Now a legend on the streets? That kind of story? I could sing that for years.”

For a moment, Evi looked stunned.

Then her expression twisted, and she pressed the blade even harder against my throat again.

“…You one of his guys too?”

“If I was, would I have come all this way to help you?”

“Help me?! Then what the hell was that little ‘snitch’ move earlier?!”

“…Sorry about that. I had to improvise.”

Even just for a moment, I needed to create an opening.

Something that would qualify as a ‘surprise attack.’

And it worked.

Those guys went down one after another without even a proper response.

Technically, me smashing that bottle was just an “unfortunate accident in a non-combat situation,” and the actual fight didn’t start until Rine launched her fireball.

At that moment, all of them had been looking at Evi, which meant Rine, who was completely out of their line of sight, could land the first blow as a sneak attack.

And I, as Evi’s party member, was also outside of their vision just long enough.

Maybe she thought I had a point, because the hostility in Evi’s eyes started to fade.

“…Shit.”

Though, she hadn’t exactly put her sword away yet.

“They say the rumor already spread all the way to Stout?”

“Pretty soon, the whole continent will be singing your song.”

“Hah, this is why being a star is such a pain.”

“Yeah, it will be. Unfortunately, with your level of fame, there’s no way you’ll be able to live a quiet life in hiding anymore.”

Even now, these guys found you pretty quickly, didn’t they?

Evi didn’t deny the implication in my words.

“Wherever you go in the Twelve Cities, there’ll be cartel assassins chasing after you just like this.”

“You really are a bard, huh. What an uplifting pep talk. Got a real talent for making people feel encouraged with words.”

“Unless you plan on taking down that cartel, you’ll have to live your whole life on the run. Constantly changing where you stay.”

“Oh, great. Why don’t you tell me something useful for a change—something I don’t already know, oh mighty bard?”

“Actually, we’re looking for a companion to travel the continent with right now.”

“Hah. What, forming a music troupe or something?”

“That wouldn’t be bad. We should jam together sometime.”

“Sure, with a lunatic wearing a sack over his face and a masochist who calls that lunatic ‘Master’ like it’s her choice even though she’s ‘not a slave’?”

“How long do you think you can keep running alone?

You’re up against someone who even Tiarian high nobles wouldn’t dare cross. Let’s face it—you can’t do this alone. You need help.”

“And that’s you guys?”

“Well, we need your help just as much. Give and take. Way more trustworthy than some scam artists who offer help out of pure goodwill, right?”

“…My help?”

“We need the skills of the street legend herself. We’re planning to hit a target.”

“Ah, theft. But you realize, right now, you look way more like the expert than I do?”

“I might be, when it comes to planning.”

“So, what’s the target?”

“For now? A dungeon.”

“A dungeon?”

“We’re thinking of earning some travel funds there.”

“Sounds like that’s just the warm-up. You’ve got a real target in mind, don’t you?”

“The Demon King’s castle.”

“!?”

For a moment, Evi’s already big eyes widened even more.

Then—

“…Ha. Hahaha.”

She let out a hollow laugh, like she couldn’t believe it.

“You’re seriously insane, aren’t you?”

“More insane than robbing the biggest cartel boss on the continent and running for it?”

“Yeah. You’re a total lunatic.”

Suddenly, Evi lowered her gaze, as if she was thinking it over.

It didn’t take long.

“…Do you even have the skills for it?”

“We’ll naturally develop what we need as we go.”

“What kind of confidence is that, you psycho?”

And with that, the sword at my neck quietly lowered.

“Well, fine. Got it.”

Instead, Evi scoffed and shrugged her shoulders.

“You kinda make sense. Having a few guys to use as bait in a pinch could be helpful.”

But I knew.

Despite what she said, Evi was actually one of the most loyal people I’ve ever met.

[The thief “Evelyn” officially joined the party.]

Of course, in the beginning, that was her reason for joining.

But as long as we never betrayed her first, Evi would never betray us either.

That’s why I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

“But hey,”

However—

“…!?”

This part, I really didn’t see coming.

“There’s one condition.”

Suddenly, instead of a sword, her hand reached out and grabbed the edge of my hood.

“I’m not working with someone who won’t even show their face.”

“Wa—”

I hurriedly grabbed Evi’s wrist to stop her from pulling it off.

“Ugh.”

“What? Don’t wanna show it?”

Evi still seemed to be playing around—she wasn’t even putting real strength into it.

But I was already desperate, and my voice started to shake.

Evi’s base Strength stat was 8.

Mine was 2.

That’s already a fourfold difference—no comparison.

“Y-You’re right, but…! I have a very serious reason why I can’t take it off…!”

“Wait, this the same guy who stayed cool with a blade at his throat? Now he’s freaking out? You’re making me more curious.”

Unfortunately, my reaction seemed to only pique her interest.

“I-I’m warning you—if you pull this off… you’ll seriously regret it!”

“Oh? So you’re hiding something incredible under there? Like a face no one’s allowed to see?”

Her playful side clearly kicked in—she even licked her lips like she was savoring it.

“A wanted man? Or some bored prince who got tired of life in the palace?”

“You’ll get hurt!”

“Is that a threat?”

“Literally… you’ll be injured!”

“I’ll get hurt just by looking at your face?”

“Yes…!”

“Why?”

“B-Because…”

“Come on. If you don’t give me a reason, how am I supposed to trust some guy who won’t even show his face?”

If you don’t like it, go find someone else— that’s what her tone said, and she was clearly serious.

And honestly, she was right.

She was the one making sense here.

“It’s because I…”

There was no choice.

It was time to tell the truth.

“You?”

“Because I’m… too beautiful…!”

“…Huh?”

“If you see my face… you’ll fall in love at first sight…!”

“…What the hell are you saying, you idiot?”

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